My Journey

From the gentle rocking and soothing darkness ,

A life was born from the womb, fragile and helpless.

I breathed, cried my lungs out and it was the beginning.  

The journey thus started , the roads  difficult. 

But I kept walking and stretched so far.

Where have  I reached? Nowhere , I am still stranded.

What have I gained? Nothing but sardonic barbs.

What have I lost? Many things that I held close to my heart.

What is remaining? Just Me, The silly , pathetic Me ..

Still I  kept walking , the hope is guiding my soul.

Take me , and be my companion in my ups and downs.

Or leave me , and set off to conquer your own heights.

But  please don't walk beside me to hurt me, laugh at me
Or to point out that I am a loser..

-R.

When you are not with me..

Not able to be with someone you love, is the worst feeling in life.

I have the time, energy and money, but the person I want to be with is not there. Nothing can replace that void. You had sent me away once. But I saw you, heard you and touched you through the random scribbling  on a blue inland letter card. I have gone through many losses in my life. I have lost money, friendships, opportunities, but the love I have lost from you will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Over a time, I realized the hard truth that you can't be with me all the time.  I got busy with my day-to-day life, trying to forget you. I thought I have came far from the feeling of loneliness.  I kept saying in my mind that we both have other priorities in life and moreover I have a family of my own to consider. Nah, you are not that important to me.  It was working until now. The Alchemist has said  that  when you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it.  It's quite the opposite that is happening to me.  I hate you, Alchemist!

From the day you have agreed to come I was so happy and feeling excited about the thought that you were coming to meet me finally. I was eagerly looking forward to it. Circumstances changed again, and all the universe conspired against me from getting what I want . I can not even blame anybody. I fear that you won't be able to come as promised.

During the times we were together, I never told you how much I loved you. Admitting the  love I have for you is considered a weakness and I did not want to admit I am weak. Even when I see you now , I wanted to tell you  how much I care for you, but I am incapable of saying so when you come in front of me. All I can do is just look at you and smile,  laugh with you when you laugh, console you when you cry or even mad at you for your silly nonsense at times.

Even though I don't say or admit it often, I say it in my heart every other minute , that how much I love you and  how much I want to be with you...my Mother..
I Love you .

-R.

The Companion

I didn't know him well when I met him for the first time,

 I didn't know him well when I left him either..

We roamed around the streets shivering in the cold breeze,

And we strolled along the less trodden beaches.

He told me many things, but never about him..

But I trusted him and he showed me the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.

He thanked me when I gifted him the stone of remembrance,

But little did he know, that I cried when we parted.

-R.

Broken Glass

I knew the glass was going to fall and break..
I did not move it to safe harbor, but just kept on looking beyond it.
After a while I picked up the broken pieces of glass from the floor,
Knowing that those pieces can never be put  back together the same way.
I dreamt a lot, never did anything to fulfill it but cursed my destiny when the dream got shattered..
However hard I try to put back together the broken pieces
I know, my dream would never be the same again...ever.

-R.

സ്വപ്ന സഞ്ചാരം

പ്രണയത്തിന്റെ മധുരം കാല്പനികതയിലും 

ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ മധുരം യാഥാർധ്യത്തിലുമാണ്‌ . 

നോവുകളെ അറിയാതെ സ്നേഹിച്ചു പോകുന്നു ഞാൻ 

ഓർമ്മയുടെ ഏടുകൾ ചിക്കി ചികയുന്നു 

നഷ്ട സൌഹൃദം , ഗൃഹാതുരത്വം ,വിരഹം ,ഒറ്റപ്പെടൽ 

എല്ലാം ഓർക്കുവാൻ സുഖമുള്ള നൊന്പരങ്ങളാണ്  

എന്തെന്നാൽ ഇവയെല്ലാം എന്നെ കുറിച്ചാണ്,

ഞാൻ മാത്രമറിയുന്ന എന്നെ കുറിച്ച്..

വ്യഥിത മോഹങ്ങൾ തൻ ചിറകുകളിലേറി ഞാൻ 

ദിക്കറിയാതെ പറന്നലഞ്ഞു 
അതിര് ഏതും ഇല്ലെന്നോതുന്ന വാനവും 
നനുത്ത മഞ്ഞിൻ കുളിരും നിലാവും 
മാടി വിളിക്കുന്നിതേകാന്ത താരവും. 

സ്വപ്നങ്ങളിൽ ഞാൻ നിർഭയം വിഹരിച്ചു 

മണ്ണിൽ അപ്രാപ്യമാം ഏതോ തലങ്ങളിൽ.. 
ഒടുവിൽ ,
കനവുകൾ പാതി മുറിച്ചു പകലെത്തിയെങ്കിലും
നഷ്ടമായില്ലെനിക്കവയൊന്നുമേ
നിദ്ര തൻ അബോധ തലങ്ങളിൽ എവിടെയോ 
കാത്തു നില്പാണവർ , പിന്നെയും ഓടി വന്നാശ്ലേഷിക്കാൻ 
ഒന്ന് കണ്‍പൂട്ടുകയേ വേണ്ടൂ... 



-R .