Happy 12th Anniversary!

"What! You two are getting married ?!!
 Really, How come ? I mean ..well...but.. You Two!! "
This pretty much sums up the various responses we both received when our marriage was announced 12 years back.
Those people who knew both of us from our childhood through our adulthood did not even consider the distant possibility or probability of we ending up together .
Nobody even cared to gossip about us during the time we were together on so many occasions, oh..well..it was not their mistake, how could they possibly imagine this considering how different we  both were (or so they thought) , until one fine day , when somebody pulled the strings and set the events in motion(The ownership of the same is still in dispute between the two of us).
From the near and dear  surprised reactions, congratulations ,delight and enthusiasm followed because it was a wedding were the bride's side and groom's side were one and the same except for few. Some even teased me  that I gifted myself a good Mother In Law by agreeing to marry him ;-) Yes, I got lucky in the whole 'In-Laws'  package here..

On looking back , I can only say that we were destined to be together.
Yes,  we were very different in  lot of things, still are in many things,  however it is the differences that kept our balance and we have crossed 12 Years of togetherness.
We learned our differences first.  We loved ,we fought ,we cried , we laughed. But through all these  we understood each other a little more than the previous day.
He never tried to change me from the person I am  and that is one thing I value in our relationship and is one of the reason I respect him even more. He let me be 'Me' and supported me in my decisions whether it is personnel front or career front. He gives me time and space I deserves. He may not say he loves me in so many sugar coated words. But I know he loves me when he get angry at the things that makes me sad and get happy when I feel happy.
One of the most important thing in life is able to look back at your life and feel happy about what you see. And in those happiest scenes  I could see the magic of fate that has brought us together , gifted us with our most precious daughters and the wonderful moments we lived and celebrated in our own small ways and called our family..

And for that reason , Today, I love you more than Yesterday. Happy Anniversary..

A Bedtime Story..

Today during bedtime when I was tucking in my daughter ,she told that 'she' will tell a bedtime story this time.
The bedtime story as told by my daughter...
--------------------------------------------------
"There were two hearts. A Mommy heart and a Daddy heart. Both were walking.Then Mommy heart got lost. Daddy heart was looking for Mommy heart.He could not find her. He saw a magic chamber and the chamber had lots of keys in it. Each key will open a room in the heart" ( however the keys don't have a part in the rest of the story).
I got very curious by this time, and prompted her with "what happens next?"
She continued " a snow man had kidnapped Mommy heart" (! She is watching way too much of Frozen and Olaf I guess:-))
I asked "Did Daddy heart find Mommy heart?"
"Mommy heart was in the middle of a river. Daddy heart went to Mommy heart and kissed her. Then Mommy heart and Daddy heart walked together chatting. They talked and talked and talked.....The End."

Oh my...I am so so surprised by her imagination. I couldn't sleep any more and thought to pen it down before I forget. Rather than imagination , I think kids observe many things that we take as granted. Though Mommy heart and Daddy heart may fight at times and seems to be lost, her little heart is so damn sure that Mommy heart and Daddy heart love each other so much and no matter whoever kidnaps Mommy heart, Daddy heart can bring her back with his love coated warm kiss!!

And I guess that assurance is the best gift parents can give to their child..

-R.

മഴ

മഴയെ ഞാൻ ഏറെ ഇഷ്ടപ്പെടുന്നു..
എന്തെന്നാൽ , മഴ ഒരു ഓർമ്മപ്പെടുത്തൽ  ആണ്
ആർദ്രമായ  ഒരു സ്നേഹ സ്പർശമാണ്
സ്വപ്നങ്ങളിലെ നിത്യ സൗഹൃദമാണ്
പക്ഷേ ,
മഴയ്ക്ക് എൻറെ പ്രണയം അറിയില്ല
എന്നെ പോലെ എത്ര പേർ മഴയെ ഇഷ്ടപെടുന്നു !
മഴയ്ക്ക്‌ ഒരാളെ മാത്രം സ്നേഹിക്കാൻ കഴിയില്ല .
മഴയിൽ നനഞ്ഞ ബാല്യം
ചെളി മണ്ണിൽ പതിഞ്ഞ കാല്പാടുകൾ
ഇടവിടാതെ പെയ്യുന്ന മഴയുടെ ശബ്ദങ്ങൾക്കു കാതോർക്കവേ
നനുത്ത ആലിംഗനം , സ്നേഹചുംബനം ..
ഒടുവിൽ , തിരിഞ്ഞൊന്നു  നോക്കാതെ
നടന്നകന്ന കാൽപാടുകൾ നോക്കി നിന്നപ്പോൾ
കാലവർഷം കുലം  കുത്തി ഒഴുകിയത് കണ്ണുകളിലൂടെയാണ് .
മനസ്സിന്റെ തേങ്ങലുകൾ മഴയുടെ ശബ്ദത്തിൽ ഒലിച്ചു പോയി
പിന്നെ ഇടയ്ക്കിടക്ക് , ഓർമ്മകളിൽ ,
കോരിച്ചൊരിയുന്ന തുലാവർഷമായി ..
അപ്രതീക്ഷിതമായി പെയ്യുന്ന വേനൽ  മഴയായി ..നീ വന്നു പോകും
എന്നെ നീ ഓർക്കില്ലായിരിക്കാം .. എങ്കിലും
എനിക്ക് നിന്നോടുള്ള പ്രണയം തീരുന്നില്ല.
ഞാൻ സ്നേഹിച്ചു കൊണ്ടേയിരിക്കും , കാരണം ..
നഷ്ടപെടാനായി എനിക്ക് ഞാനേ ഉള്ളൂ ,
എന്നിലെ പ്രണയം അനന്തമാണ് ..

A time well spent ..

When you are exhausted and can't complain, when there is none to comfort you or lend a hand, the best way to de - stress is to treat yourself well! Really well.
So today, I made myself a special dinner(Hot and spicy capsicum omelette, my version of chipotle style fajita rice,some apples and seasonal mangoes and chilled pineapple crush) ,arranged the platter, served myself and ate all that myself, sitting alone.I didn't expect it would work when I started,but it surely does..
I used to tell my lady friends that  its important for all of us to have some 'Me Time' apart from all the family/work routines .If nobody else appreciate your time,at least you will learn to do it for you. You are special. If you don't value yourself,who else will ! Alone, go for a movie, travel,read , write about how you feel, treat yourself with a little shopping..just enjoy being yourselves. And most importantly do keep your girlfriends close. Because ,your joy doubles and sorrows halves when you share it with your true friend.
Good night ladies..
Love you all my girl friends..

Silence...

I have read that "Silence is the most powerful weapon" ..but against whom!? 
I have also read ( which i felt more appropriate ) that "Those who don't understand your words, won't understand your silence either".
So usage of the "weapon" does not guarantee that ppl will come and look for you/ try to understand you.

If you are in a situation trying to prove your own worth to somebody, that's just NOT worth it!
" People will act as if nothing is happening when they don’t want to face the reality of the situation by pretending to be unaware or unsure despite being presented with the evidence" (quoted)
As the old proverb goes
"You cant wake a person who is pretending to be asleep ! "

So don't wait for others to understand you, or waste your energy trying to wake up the person, rather wake your own inner strength, believe in yourself , there is light at the end of the tunnel..

-R.

Hope is born when all is forlorn

Plants have life processes like humans and animals. They are sensitive to the changes in their surroundings. But looks like they can hear us as well !!?
Well, joke apart, here is an interesting thing that happened in our home.
We bought home a jasmine plant almost an year back ( from a flower nursery) . It had full of flowers and my small porch was filled with its lovely fragrance . Sitting leisurely in our swing, quietly enjoying the beautiful lake view , breathing in the refreshing fragrance of the jasmine flowers... We hoped a lot ,but that was not in store for us.After bringing it home and the flowers it already had withered away, it never blossomed again. We were kind of disappointed abt it however did not pluck the plant away. We had also purchased a Rose plant at the same time which turned out to be an over performer and used to give me consistently 30-40 flowers at a time! The Roses were an overjoy and the Jasmine, disappointing. Still I watered it everyday. My Jasmine plant just stood there bearing the heat and dust all this time, providing nothing more than a little greenery . Last week , we have decided to bring in another plant instead of the Jasmine. Due to space constraints in the porch, I would have to take away the Jasmine if I plant a different one. Me and my husband debated on which other plant to substitute it. Finally I have agreed up on his wish to have a Tomato plant over my wish to have a Periwinkle.
Last two days I also din't bother to water it as I always did.
Yesterday I went near the plant to check and see how to remove it, I couldn't believe my eyes ! There ..there ,at the end of the long stem , I could see few tiny tiny buds smiling at me !! My Jasmine has flowered again after more than an year!
Today , the first bud has blossomed in to a full flower , I just sat there in my swing admiring the single beauty, I couldn't help but wonder- Dear God.. just when we were going to write it off, give up on it , you have showered your blessings!
Some things in life are also like that..pleasant surprises comes in when we least expect it, disappointment give way to smaIl joys, and "Hope is born when all is forlorn" (quoted)
Keep Faith...

-R.

June 18/2015

Its a routine we follow from the time my daughter started to sleep  by herself in her own  room. I read her two or three stories or poems , have some silly talks and recite our daily prayers . Then I will stay with her until she dozes off to sleep. We open up more closely during these routine exercise. We make silly faces, laugh at silly jokes and more often its a trigger for Samyuktha to share her fears and feelings to me .I treasure each and every moment of this time . At times these silly nothings really make sense and have much deeper meaning if you think that way.

If I do not write it down ,I will forget them. I want to look back at the memories and cherish each and every moment I spent with her . These might be little things. But,  "One day you will look back and realize they were the big things "


Bedtime Talks with Samyu #1
Another bedtime small talk with my daughter.
Samyu : "Mom, do we loose our sensitivity when we grow up?"
Me: "no, we don't..why did u ask?"
Samyu : " it was raining during the day, and the high schoolers were still playing football in the(school) ground . don't they know they are getting wet?"
Me: " Its not that their sense organs stop working ( she is currently learning about sense organs in class). May be they love the game they were playing so much that they don't care if its raining or not "
Samyu: "oh,OK,we friends were thinking they might have lost the sense to feel the rain"..chuckle..

These kind of small talks keeps me thinking (as always..)
In a sense, it is right..we grown ups at times lose the ability to be sensitive.. we are so busy prioritizing and planning our own lives that at times we become insensitive to others feelings. Or we pretend that we don't know..we don't want to know whether our words have hurt somebody, we don't want to know whether our (in)actions causing stress to somebody, we don't want to have a meaningful conversation ..everything is good as is. Why invite trouble? I am not generalizing, but some people just love to live in a fool's paradise !

-R.

June11/2015

Today I witnessed a heated argument /dispute between two ppl. I was not connected to any of them and it was not my concern ,and I went back to the book I was reading. However I couldn't help overhear them since the exchange was quite loud. The person who started the argument began in the highest pitch, being so rash and unreasonable to the other person. The other person equally firm but not aggressive, was explaining her own points. After the initial two minutes, there came a moment of realisation for him (yeah,we all know that exact feeling when we realise we r incorrect) that it was not going in his favour and he was in a fix , now that there were no comebacks other than total surrender. He started to mumble ,made some feeble attempts to prove he is right but in vein, with each sentence contradicting the previous one. I feared whether he will now start crying or not.. Finally he said, "see, kids sometimes fight with their parents, please consider this like that.I don't have anything against you. Actually the fault is with the process ..." I couldn't control my laugh and hastlty left the scene.
Lesson learnt:
If you happen to be in a situation where an argument is inevitable , don't start in a highest pitch. Start in the middle..Get the facts right and you see if your side of the story is worth arguing.
If you are right, you will have an edge, if you are incorrect , atleast you can make a decent retract.

PS: Few may ask, why dont we refrain from an argument itself . To them: True, but having a difference of opinion is common, we are all human,the rational bigger brain species that also has the capability to behave quite irrationally at times.

-R.

Back to blogger after a break..

Back to my blogspot after almost an year!
I haven't put my thoughts on the blogger these days , mostly due to my laziness to login to blogger and type. Facebook status updates seemed to be an easy task. But the issue is that its difficult to read them back and so  would like to put all my thoughts back to blogger. Lots of copy ,pastes to do (from FB status updates )
:-)
Happy blogging..again..

-R.